Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
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