I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
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