Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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