do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
Randomize
