To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
