what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
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