I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
Randomize
