If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
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