My nipple is on Facebook.
We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
how do you play pong handcuffed?
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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