dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
And my parents said I crawled through the house
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
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