I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
Randomize