we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize
