Your tits are I can't wait for
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
this hospital has no fireball
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
How does one acquire holy water?
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Randomize
