Pregnant stripper...not hot.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
we should paint friendship bongs
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