Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
Just pee around me
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
Randomize
