babies were throwing up all over the place
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
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