Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
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