sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Randomize
