Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
