My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
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