The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
We are two peas in an std pod
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
