I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Randomize
