I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize