Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize