so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
