Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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