i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
Randomize
