There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
3 2 1 whiskey
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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