Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
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