a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
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