from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
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