do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
try to milk me bitch
Randomize
