I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
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