we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
Blow job season was short but glorious.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
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