I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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