I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
I'm way too hungover for life right now
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
Randomize
