I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
