I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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