Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
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