She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
