She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Randomize
