ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
Randomize
