why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
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i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
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I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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