if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
Randomize
