I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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