I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
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I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
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Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
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