I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Randomize
