Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
im holly from the hills drunk
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
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