You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
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