I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
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