Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
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