I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize
