We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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