Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
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