Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Randomize
