I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Randomize
