Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
