Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
40s are totally the cure
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
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