Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
Randomize
