God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
Randomize
