went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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