i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
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