i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
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