just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
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